doglets | Entries tagged with love

We ran out of Kato Incurin tablets aka pissy pants pills. One of the potential side effects of Incurin according to the leaflet is INCREASED ATTRACTIVENESS (leaflet uses caps). Hippy maintains this is not scientifically feasible as the Pretty Sweetness has optimal prettiness. I always thought it meant magnetic attractiveness causing incalculable electrical interference and havoc. Magnetic Kato upsetting compasses and tellys, leaving a trail of crashed satellites and wiped hard drives in her wake.

Frodi has always found his feelings for Kato confusing. On the one paw he is besotted with her but on the other three paws, he sees her as one of the lads. Romantic Frodi brings pond weed bouquets and serenades Kato with “the noise”. Best Mate Frodi likes wrestling with Kato and concedes that, for a girl, she has a remarkable left hook. If Kato and Frodi were a Rom-Com, Frodi would be the geeky man racing to the airport to shout his love to Kato as she went through check-in. But would she turn back?

We need to be sure the Incurin is for Kato’s benefit and not for us being house-proud. A lot of our house is tiled and we‘ve bought rubber backed mats for Kato Spaces. We wash Kato’s sleeping bag daily and have forgotten what colour the sofa is as it’s buried under a million pink wet bed protectors. Vet opinion is she could get sore from urine burns so we stick with the meds.

By DAY FOUR of no pissy-pants pills, zero satellites landed in the garden but no decrease in her prettiness. Frodi seemed as devoted as ever. She did smell of wee though.

Post walk, I sat down on the back doorstep and opened my crisps

“Those look crispy” said Kato sitting next to me.

“Walkers crisps for People who have walked” I said

“Smell nice” she said sniffing the air

“Get lost” I said “You’ve had breakfast”

I felt her weight leaning on me.

“Don’t”

I felt the gentlest of wet noses on my ear.

“I’m not giving in, I’m thinking of a brick wall” I munched

Kato rummaged in my hair with her nose. I stopped crunching and looked at her. The brick wall in my thoughts now had a doorway in it with a sign marked “Crisps for Kato”

“A very well-built seven foot high brick wall” I said and mentally locked the door. She rested her chin on my shoulder

“Don’t meet her eyes, think of a brick wall” I said aloud.

Kato had found a crumbly, cracking area of my mental wall. I quickly re-pointed the wall. She nuzzled my neck and gave me the tenderest, sweetest lick of my chin and made a slight sighing noise only audible to gullible human ears. Distracted by having to re-point my mental wall I was too late to notice Kato had found the key to the mental wall door under a brick marked “soft spot”

Kato took the crisp so gently from my fingers.

“Try concrete next time” she said skipping off up the garden

“Sit here”

“Why”

“Just do it...sit...good girl, now look devoted”

“Wut?”

“Look devoted”

“Don’t remember that command from school”

“You remember dip all from school Kato”

“I know many useless commands and can sniff out biscuits in several different languages. Actually”

“Keep still. Stop sticking your tongue out!"

“I'm sure there are laws about putting dogs in headlocks”

( Kato selfie )

“I’ve been residing here for quite some time now Katrina” said Frodi “And I know sometimes things haven’t always been easy between us, what with your pathological bowl possessiveness, my problem barking, the stick fatwa - but... I think overall we get along OK and I was wondering if you would do me the honour of taking my paw in marriage?”

“Yeah OK” said Kato not looking up from her squeakless squeaky toy "Marriage, no probs"

“Oh! Well that’s splendid. So, which basket we should we move in to?” said Frodi “Is it too soon to change our face-book status?”

“Yeah, whatevs, just one thing...can I take your stitches out?”

“Stitches?”

“Yeah, you look proper Frankendog, loads of them...on that bald patch on your back, and a big long squiggly line down your leg”

“I hadn’t noticed, can’t see past this divine halo I’ve acquired, made of plastic and not translucent holy radiance but we are in a recession... human says it makes me look like the Pope”

“I thought more Noo Noo from teletubbies but anyway, brace yourself...” said Kato sniffing a stitch

“Ooh that tickles Katrina, are you about to whisper sweet nothings in my ...OUCH”

Frodi has had a warty thingy on his Right side for a long time but over the last month it suddenly started increasing rapidly in size. Vet advised removing it due to the increased size and speed it's growing. It might be something, it might be nothing. Frodi can get his teeth scaled at the same time. Frodi's gnashers were in poor condition when he arrived, cleaned up a lot with having a daily carrot and crunchier food. He weighed in at 16.5kg which seems a little low. He was so good in the vets, he put his muzzle on without a flicker and only showed his teeth briefly when the vet meddled with him. So 27th of Oct is Operation Frodi day.

Kato is still having intermittent problems with her waterworks. Discovered that the Metcam was upsetting her stomach so she now has Pardale for her shoulder pain. She's still on the INCREASED ATTRACTIVENESS tablets. This is very confusing for Frodi who has no clue why he wants to give Kato his best sticks and lie hopefuly beside her basket, chin on paw gazing at her. Kato just treads on him when she decides to move.

Kato has been having a few health issues, a torn shoulder, an upset stomach (that might have been the uncooked pigeon take-away that Frodi brought in), two urine infections and most recently she has become incontinent during her sleep. Having just re-carpeted post poorly Abe & Java, this is mildly disappointing.

The vet has prescribed something hormonal for the pretty Sweetness to see if that helps with the sleeping wee problem.The side effects may include swollen lady bit and teats, and INCREASED ATTRACTIVENESS!!

Frodi trotted past Kato on his way to the garden and then stopped. He turned and looked at her, as if he was seeing her for the first time.

“You’ve done something different with your fur” he said unable to take his eyes off her “You look...lovely”

“Don’t be daft” she snapped (literally) “I’m totally between coats, I look terrible”

“And your scent” he said “Is it new, fox poo?”

“Noo, just some cheap old pigeon poo I found in the garden” she said

Unable to resist he buried his nose deep in her back fur and sniffed. This usually would get him decked, throttled and given a slap (don’t write in, he likes it) but she just stepped away and did an all-over shake.

“If you’re not doing anything after dinner” he said shyly, studying an imaginary sticky bob stuck to his paw “We could go up the pond and do some pointless barking”

“I’m on basket rest...that and you’re a dickhead” Kato said dismissively and minced off to her basket.

“Maybe some other time” he said watching until she disappeared out of sight admiring the fine arc of her plume tail that he just hadn’t noticed before.

To be continued.......