doglets

We started puppy class with enthusiasm but it hasn’t worked out well. Seren is the massive lummox that no one wanted to sit next to. The majority of her classmates are tiny, weeny, fragile things that were frighteningly expensive. A lot of the class intend to breed from their beloved ~~investment~~ acquisition. Between exercises the fragile little dudes are picked up and rocked like babies whilst their owners glower at Seren. Seren could probably fit half the class in her mouth and still have room to chew her kong.

Seren can do all the things, all the commands, but the minute there is nothing to do she barks and lunges at the prey. It doesn’t really matter if a 2 kg pug-poo doesn’t do what you tell it, just pick it up and bend it into an approximation of a Sit or Down. Recall on a long line is like landing a reluctant fish for the small dog owners. If Seren doesn't do long line recall, it's me that falls over if I try to prompt her with a tug..

Week one we just had a sense of people avoiding us, by week five people just aren’t hiding their disdain for us and our barky frightened puppy.

Last week was truly awful, with people giving us an obvious wide berth and filthy looks. Seren ended up so confused and wired, she threw up all the way home. She’s got typical big puppy travel sickness at the best of times. Seren is now so disruptive in class, I just don’t think there is any going back.

Current Mood: sad

In the vets waiting room there were many Small Yappy Type Dogs – a shrill of SYTDs. Yorkshire terriers, various poodle combo’s (cavapoo, pinipoo, noisypoo), a mini bulldog, 2 gobby pugs and a shihtzu. The pugs looked like a pair of glove puppets lungeing and spitting at passers-by. Worst children’s party entertainers ever.

Amused myself pondering the possible names for a bulldog mixed with a shihtzu.

A pink throne arrived containing a pampered SYTD. A pomopoo who looked a bit like one of those fatballs that you hang out for the wild birds. No offence SYTD owners but they have got legs for a reason.

There were 2.5 Rottweilers. The German Shepherd half of Kato had disappeared under the seats. Teenage rotty was in a sit-stay, but just like Kato at that age, only his rear end was managing the stay bit. The other rotty was a big soft well behaved fellow – and apparently the first ever rotty assistance dog in Europe. His owner listed all the things that his beloved dog could do.

“Oh” I cooed impressed and looked at Kato

“Like anyone ever phones you!” snarked Kato from under the seat

Usually Kato would find being surrounded by Shrill Critters a bit much and we would wait outside, but because the other two rottys were indifferent she seemed to relax. Assistance rotty had fallen asleep on the scales (45kg) Teenage rotty was gently chewing his owner’s leg, leaving one of those drool pools that you’re never sure if saying “it was the dog” can be interpreted worse than people thinking you’ve wet yourself.

The waiting room divided into two camps. SYTD side were discussing groomers, claw varnish, heated rollers and then we heard “Ferocious guard dog”. Our eyes fell on a SYTD in a polka dot pinafore with matching bow. Assistance Dog opened one eye and gave a snort which sounded like a suppressed guffaw.

All three rottys simultaneously did the eyes closed, chin flat to floor position, trying very hard not to laugh.

A new SYTD (randompoo) arrived carried in a sheepskin lined Burberry tartan papoose that matched his owner’s coat. Although to be fair, I often match Kato’s coat without even trying. Teenage rotty openly stared at the new arrival and made a noise that sounded like “dafuq”

Assistance dog gave a louder snort, followed by a cough. The Rotty owners exchanged amused knowing looks and then couldn’t look at each other. The seats were now wobbling as the three big dogs tried to suppress their sniggers.

Facebook - Its a bit scary innit - and people use their real names. Thats a bit too IRL for our human. Not sure our human will cope. She only signed up to nosey-park.

Snow - "FanBarkinTastic" said our spokesdog on location before zooming off to play Artic Slippy
"Brrrrr" said the rest of the doglets back in the studio.
Our human is praying for mucho snow so she can ~~play Artic Slippy~~ work from home.

Cough - Little Abe has a cough, probably nowt but keeping an eye on her. Our very own sytd sounds a bit hoarse.

Walks - kAt0 gatecrashed Java's Staff Association yesterday, seven miles, (tho kAt0 clocked up 28 miles). kAt0 is much better off-lead than on, she is fine in built up areas being on lead, but when she sees those big wide open spaces - she just has to go and turns into a bit of a hoodlum until she is set free. Tho she doesn't wander far away - though did have to be held onto until hippy caught up as there were deer. There were also horses, which kAt0 didn't bat an eyelid at - her rescue also had horses, wonder if she remembers. And there were six dogs on the walk in total includind a small yappy type dog (SYTD) and a big lad called Barney. The collective were polite and amicable, no grumbling.

In lieu of a proper Top Dog since Lindsay left us to cause havoc on Rainbow Bridge this has caused a by-election to be called in the Canine Feminist Collective. Since the Collective are too hapless to even cast votes – we have taken the unprecedented step in extending the voting to our Live Journal flist. So please vote - the doglets manifestos are behind the cut, Polling Day will be when our human works out how to do LJ polls again.

( manifestos )

Java left another piece of her psychological baggage behind yesterday. We humans went to see Seabound in Sheffield. Back at Canine Feminist Collective HQ

therovers taught kAt0 and That Abe how to appreciate the mystical art of Match of the Day.

theroversreported that the DogChild and the neurotic Abe were golden - obviously they had been "replaced" and the real kAt0 and That Abe were fraying some aliens nerves up on some passing spaceship.

Whilst we tapped our feet very politely to Seabound , Java stopped at

sheff_dogshouse. This was different to the one human, no other dogs situation, 10 mile walk she has with her Wallace. This was being in a strange house with another dog (though there were two humans ready to intervene if she went Psycho). Once they had talked her down off the windowsill after we left,

sheff_dogshumans said Java was quite settled. It must seem like nothing but its such a big step for our loopy dog.

Seabound have been the first band to tempt me out of inertia for some time, preferring a psytrance party if we are to leave the house at all - and it was fab. Like proper fan girl I recorded my fave tune on my camera in lieu of being able to close my eyes and have a delicious ciggarette. Bumped into

battered_steelwhich was a timely coincidence - it being indirectly his fault I was there at all. A personal review of Iris on his old deleted LJ had led me to purchase purely on his few sentences their Wrath CD, which led me to explore other stuff and find the wonderful Seabound. And now he has guided me to Lastfm which is brimming full of even more stuff.

Anyway - heres that Java with Penny, in Pennys kitchen surrounded by nice smells of food and biscuits