doglets

“Papa Frodi, can you babysit Seren?” I asked “I’ll be ten minutes tops”
Frodi glared.
“Seems a shame to crate her when I’ll only be gone twenty minutes”
Frodi looked away
“Mama” said Seren and sucked Frodi’s ear, which she can now reach without standing on her back legs.
“Please, it’s just half an hour” I smiled at him reassuringly “Company, helps with your separation anxiety”
“I need to be separated from anxiety” said Frodi “Clues in the name”
“You’ve got way more intelligent since Kato...” I drifted off
“Papa Frodi” I said soothingly “I was really impressed with how you baby sat for that few minutes”
“Hour and a half” corrected Frodi “If I had eyebrows I would raise them”
“I’m sure it would have been the whole skirting board if you hadn’t been here with little baby Seren” I said not meeting his eyes, struggling to put my coat on as there was 12kg of puppy hanging off the sleeve.
“I’ll be no more than half an hour” I lied, limping towards the front door.
“Most of that half hour will be taken up trying to detach the alien from your ankle” smirked Frodi

Frodi isn’t as delighted as we expected with his new companion. “Look” we said “We’ve brought you a new wife” Frodi looked offended as we presented him with an 8 week old baby.
Some deep canine instinct overrides his urge to clock it one and affirm the boundaries. Frodi barks at the alien baby but Seren just looks thrilled and chews even harder on his ear. He keeps checking the back end, this is where the gauge for discipline permissions is kept. Puppies come with some sort of forcefield that prevents adult dogs being too heavy pawed when trying to regulate their behaviour. “Soon” he mutters and skulks back to his basket, his tail heavy, with the energized puppy attached to it.
Seren has doubled in size since we got her 5 weeks ago (now 12kg). We bought a crate for the alien baby to eat in and if we have to go out for any reason. Frodi spends more time in the crate than Seren does.

We often encounter a man walking very briskly with two border collies in front of him on fairly long leads. Kato will bark and pull a bit if she sees them. Usually I put Kato into a sit, stand in her eye-line and let them pass. I’ve always felt a bit grumpy, that it’s us who have to accommodate as Speed Collies whoosh by. But on nearly colliding one day, he managed to give me an apologetic look and said “Cheers” It finally occurred to me itwasn't that he won't stop but he can't without the Speed Collies getting in tangle.

Kato and I were trotting along when the Speed Collies appeared. We were head on, eye contact locked on. With houses one side, a busy road on the other, one team had to either go into a split second reverse or we were crashing. We were now in the Canine Hadron Collider on course for impact. There was no way we could pass on the pavement without coming within spitting distance.

May Day. May Day. This is Not a Drill.

Meep Meep, said the collies, followed by Meep Meep Ouch, as their Controller deftly handbrake- turned 90 degrees between two parked cars. I put Kato into 5^th and accelerated, slight jolt as Kato took awhile to change gear from amble to sprint. Checking the rear view, Speed Collies were whooshing away warp factor ten.

“Didn’t even indicate” grumbled Kato who was struggling to keep up as she tried to work out how to do a wanker sign with her paw “Just pulled right out in front of us...they think they own the pavement!"

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Kato trotting along beside me was carrying a stick. Kato doesn’t really do sticks, she’s ripped the odd one up and will bury one only so it’s *her* stick and no one elses. Possession of the stick is all tenths of dog law.

It was a giant size dental dog chew, completely intact with no teeth marks on. I looked around; there were no other dogs in sight. I pocketed it. Kato immediately frisked me pulling poo bags/tissues/keys out of my pockets and searching my hands.

“It’s in my anorak” I reassured her

“I think you’ll find it’s called a weatherproof jacket” said paw on the pulse of fashion Kato

This is true; I tried to buy a new anorak recently and got lost in the modern terminology of outer wear. Storm flex, polar tech, omni tech, breathable, soft shell, hydro proof, rain proof, shower proof, wind resistant, tri climate and all of the above in 3-in1, lite and extreme version. I didn’t dare go in a real shop in case I was questioned and turned into Peter Kay “It’s for that fine rain that gets you wet through” I was so bewildered I gave up trying to understand them and just bought something on-line that was less than 30 quid, black and looked like an anorak. Seems people (and one dog) are being anoraks about anoraks.

“Get your snooter out of my pocket” I commanded as we trotted along Kato now doing a perfect heel as she had her nose in my pocket

“Can I have my stick back?”

“I think you’ll find it’s called a Canine Dental Hygiene Treatment” I said

Usually it’s Frodi enticing Kato to play by “Doing the Noise” The “Noise” can entice even the most moody aloof Kato to play. It’s a play growl, a deep, husky, low rurrrrr-rurrr noise. Kato can’t resist it, cocks her head from side to side, then on about the 4^th or 5^th rurrrrr will go over to him mesmerised by this sound. She either does a floorboard shaking play bow, or pokes him with her nose and then makes herself very tall.

Frodi is fast, nippy and very flexible. He darts up, over, around and under Kato. He does pause so she can thump him to give her the impression of winning. He allows himself to be turned upside down and clocked round the chops with one of her big paws. There is a “no-tails” rule. If a tail gets accidentally trapped or trodden on, there is a squeak and the game ends.

Frodi’s other special move is the Mobile Back Rub. He lies on his back and scritches, moving around the room as he does. This is accompanied by a comical ing-ing-ing noise. It doesn’t work on Kato but rarely fails to get humans attention.

Since the tumour was removed and histamine overload controlled, Kato has re-found some of her energy. We are aware that this is a honeymoon recovery and things could turn at anytime for Kato. Kato currently couldn’t be acting less poorly. Frodi has the weary look of a husband whose wife is on HRT and is demanding attention. When Kato wants to play, she wants to play NOW.

Kato only plays if she is under the illusion that she is winning. If for one second she suspects that the canny Frodster is actually prevailing, she loses interest and wanders off. And this, I think, has to be our approach to the twilight of her life, if Kato isn’t winning, then she would rather just not play.

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Entries tagged with dog lore

Alien Baby Minder - Frodi

Seren - Alien Baby

Kato Walk - Speed Collies

Kato Walk and The Evolution of Anoraks

Doing the Noise

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February 2018

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