doglets: (kato eye)

The entire cast of Wind in the Willows neighbour hipsters were all cardiganed up, bearding around their bins.

“Brown bin only tomorrow” I said wisely, though they never actually take their bins in. Bin Mavericks – probably some obscure hipster band I’ve never heard. I felt Kato prickling at the end of the lead as she went through her Friends List. Canine Brain compared the hipster to the ten people on her friends list.

There was a click and a whirr from inside Canine Deep Thought as she hovered over her three Simons. She moved on remembering none of her Simons have ever been seen in a genuine Dad cardigan with fake leather elbow patches.

A hipster raised his hand.

“He’s Got A Gun!” yelped Kato and engaged full doing it in her pants defensive. Her spine fur stegosaurus style as if she had been electrocuted “Oops, my bad, kebab tray”

“Sorry” I said “Take no notice of her, so it’s brown bin when you’re in any doubt and with the grey bin, I find if I crush my boxes...Ouch Kato! Sorry, she must really need the loo”

Kato pulled impatiently at the lead.

“That wasn’t nice Kato” I said “Are you really so desperate to poo?”

“Saving you from yourself, striking up conversations about bins with people under the age of 25” said Kato

doglets: (kato me)

I had a bi-lateral mastectomy a few weeks ago and my recovery is frustratingly slow. Kato Walk has been contracted out to freelancers. Frodi happiness is not affected if he doesn’t walk. Kato gets miserable cabin fever if she doesn’t get out every 2-3 days. There are very few people that Kato knows / trusts well enough to be at the other end of the lead. Kato isn’t nasty but shyness makes her stubborn. It has to be someone she has recognition for and is permitted to touch the royal head and issue the royal commands.

Kato view is that this contracted out walking arrangement has worked out most agreeable. Every time the door goes she thinks it’s either G or J, come to take her out.
"Oh" said Kato trying not to look disappointed when I appeared with the lead, looking round me to see if G or J had managed to arrive without her launching herself at them. You know who your friends are when they still come back after being pinned to the floor by 35kg excited dog.

Our usual bread & butter walk is round the local streets but the danger is that we might meet a feline infidel. I’m pretty sore and would have to let go of the lead if Kato did even one of her most half-hearted lunges and she could end up in a busy road.

We had a lift to the park and set off, my goal was Cricket Poo Bin and back, less than 0.4 mile .We reached the poo bin and I had to sit down. I burst into tears and hugged Kato.

One cancer survivor hugging another.

“Sorry it’s so short” I sniffed into her fur

“S’ok” said Kato and stuck her cold wet nose in my eye then licked my face “You taste like crisps”

“We should head back” I said wiping my face with my sleeve

“I’ll do you another poo” said Kato “Always a comfort”

doglets: (k and f)

I went to visit Rainbowskye for a long overdue catch-up, talk about cake and meet the Rabbits. On my return home I was a “Person of Interest” helping DCI Kato and DS Frodi with their enquiries. Both inhaled me as if I was the last residue of a cocaine wrap. They stood back and blinked, then inhaled again.

DCI Kato brain processor was hovering between Potential Food Item and Alien. DS Frodi was conducting a forensic analysis of my right sleeve. The scent of Bunny tapped some repressed memory stored in his genetic code. Frodi had the strangest instinct to fry onions till golden, add carrot, celery, thyme, rosemary, season to taste and simmer in a...

“E.T.” said Kato confidently having gone through her entire object identification files twice.

I was released without charge.


doglets: (kato age two)

The owners of the proper old fashioned hardware/glass shop opposite park their camper van in our drive. In exchange we are showered with hardware gifts. The Shop is an Aladdins cave of mysterious things and they seem to sell everything from one curtain ring upwards.

Kato has never been in the shop. If I have reason to go in, I leave her at home or I stand at the doorway and shout in.

I mis-clicked on my grocery shopping so had an extra cucumber. Thought I would drop it over to Mrs Dave-the-Shop – the shop was unusually empty. I stood in the doorway making the tinkly bell tinkle

“Why you stood there so, half in, half out” said Mrs Dave-the-Shop

“Dog” I said “I’ve brought you a cucumber”

“Come in, dog don’t eat ironmongery”

Kato nearly exploded with joy and was in before I could say Bull in a China Shop. Ten long years she has wondered what lay behind the door. Kato inspected all of the things – her nose scanning across shelves full of endless stuff – Jeys fluid, washing up bowls, paint scrapers and drain rods. No-More Nails, Actual Nails and Literal Nails. Kato knocked over the coal scuttles and cleared the the glue display with a sweep of her tail. Kato paused at hamster food as potential food item that may need returning to. But then her eyes fell on something. What also lay behind the door was a woman holding a sandwich.

“Dog him like heg?” enquired Mrs D-t-S as Kato went into a perfect sit

“I do” said Kato fluttering her eye lashes “And is that mayo with black pepper, my favourite”

“Best not, she’ll pester you”

Kato put her head on one side and looked up in birthday card puppy pose guaranteed to melt the hardest heart.

“Aww, he’s hungry” said Mrs D-t-S

“I am” agreed Kato “Can’t remember when I last ate...feel quite faint”

To emphasise this fact – Kato feigned death. Slumping to the floor and rolling carefully on her side, one eye fixed on the Sandwich of Life. Only this sandwich could revive her. Mrs D-t-S made more aww noises and was breaking part of her sandwich off.

I knew Kato would take it gently but then chew it up, spit it out several times because she doesn’t like white bread or egg very much, and hates salad. Kato will follow me round the kitchen insisting “I do like white bread. I like white bread today” but then she just buries it or spends the rest of the day guarding a spit drenched lump in case it turns into a steak. When she eventually loses interest Frodi, who will eat anything, will eliminate it. Kato will play with a piece of celery until it is filthy and hide boiled potatoes in her bed.

“Just called in to give you this” I said throwing the cucumber at Mrs D-the-S and dragging Kato from the shop.

“See ya, and feed that poor dog, him hungry, aww”


doglets: (Default)

Kato has always run a very tight limited friends list with space for about 10 people. In order to have a new friend listed someone has to go. Usually my brother as she doesn’t see him very often. Kato adores her ten friends and will greet them with physical joyous loving exuberance which sadly is very difficult to tell apart from being attacked by an angry Rottweiler.

The other interaction lists in Kato brain are named “Whatever” which is pretty much the rest of the world and “Code Red”. Sometimes a new person will come onto her close radar and there is a long recess while Kato brain slowly and carefully compares the new person to her Friends List. Eventually she arrives at – no, don’t know you, and then Kato brain slowly decides which of her other Lists to allocate the person to. I’ve never worked out her formula for this decision.

I go to the post box with Kato at least twice a week and always read the un-changing times of collection placard. One day there will be a message for me “the black & orange dog lies down in the autumn sun”. Kato has been for months indifferent to the post box but yesterday she greeted the tall red thing like an old friend. She wagged her Las Vegas plume of a tail, happy little barks, bouncing and pushing between my knees to inhale deeply the smell of friend.

“Looks a bit like you” I remarked to Kato as I pushed an envelope in its gaping mouth

Another person approached with a letter and the possessive Kato glared, and let one sun ray reflect off her best canine tooth. The person waited until we moved on with Kato continually staring back over her shoulder at this interloper on her silent and still red friend.

So Kato’s friends list is now 9 humans and one pillar box.            

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doglets: (Default)
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February 2018

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