The Reaper Only Knocks 730 times (at least)

I am as rubbish as the rest of you at updating this thing – so this update will be delivered in bits. I’ve been writing it since about October and just updating it, thinking I really should post it. I didn't even break my net-silence for my annual rant about fireworks, I just rang my Mother and tutted a lot.

The Reaper – has been tapping on the windows recently with the summons paperwork for That Abe and Java. But in true doglet style they are refusing to go – “you’ll never take us alive” they sneer which is flawed logic but hey, they’re dogs and usual rules don’t apply.

Java – had a stroke just before Christmas. Very wobbly, off to one side, sight and hearing gone. Couldn’t find her food and had forgotten how to get up stairs. So sad to see her staggering around in an endless bewildered circle.

However, she improved very quickly and although a bit wobbly & lop sided, she seems content and coping better with eating, drinking, finding her basket and rolling her eyes at Bellend (Frodi) and Spoilt Bitch (Kato). She’s on vivatonin to hopefully prevent or minimise future episodes. She still spends every weekend with her companion (think Wallace and Gromit) and up until a few days before the stroke had happily done an 8 mile walk. Wallace was so concerned about her he slept on his lounge floor next to her but the next day she did a lap of the lake (walked round, not swam, that would be really eccentric :-))

That Abe – Zombie Dog, Abe the Undead. Two years ago we summoned everyone to her basket side to say goodbye. There’s hardly anything left of her physically – from 21kg at her most over-loved, big boned era to a 9kg skeleton. Along with her weight, she has also lost her housetraining and her manners, but she more than makes up for it in feistiness and occasionally gives Boy-dog a sound handbagging.  Perhaps the ever diminishing Abe will eventually just become a presence, a spiritual entity with no physical manifestation.

Frodi-  what possessed us?!!! He’s a collie, he doesn’t do boredom well and short of eating a toddler pretty much ticks every box on the bad-dog-behaviour checklist.  Everything spooks him and if it doesn't spook him he wants to steal it and throw it in the air. Love him though. A friend of ours (Java’s Wallace to her Gromit) has bought a house in <name of historical quaintness redacted> . Do you know anyone here asked his new neighbours, yes, he says I know Mrs <previous Frodi owner>. Oh said the neighbour lovely woman lowering her voice to outraged whisper:  used to have this terrible dog, dreadful nuisance, noisy, badly trained, petitions, letters, parish councils...just as we pulled up in the car with Frodi in full “Oh my God it’s moving, we’re all going to die, Lorry, LORRY, there’s a tree oh my God, car, CAR, car, car, tree, we’re dying here, OH MY DOG”

Kato – the little princess, secretly enjoys the company of Frodi, he lets her win wrestling game and she often has him in a headlock (which he loves) punching his lights out. Kato is the source of many arguments that she is a spoilt girl which hippy strongly denies as he irons her collar and ties a bow in her fur. She gets his empty yogurt pot and he never goes to bed without her – I rest my case